TASK 2*writing* No.9

Yasmeen...i need your x-ray eyes to detect my mistakes;)


# 9>>Are zoos cruel to wild animals? Discuss<<

Could we use some of the points below to express our views for essay #10:
Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment.Discuss some of the arguments for and/or against keeping animals in zoos.


It is said:”" (now the wrong inverted commas can only b due to tension!)God loved birds and made trees for them, man loved birds- (not sure why the - is here??)and placed them in cages”.According to the statistics,in Asia,7/10 animals die in the zoos,(no comma required here) due to poor and unhygenic environment.Metaphorically speaking,(there should always be a gap after the comma, I've noticed u dont give a gap after the commas) all creatures of God-big or small ,deserve their right to live freely.

But, the story is rather grim in real life as many endangered species,(space after commas please) example:koala bears,penguins,elephants and so on are taken in shelter in such zoos (instead of 'are taken in shelter', do you mean to say: are given shelter in such zoos, or '....and so on take shelter in such zoos??).Eventually,the lack of space,invasion of privacy (that sounds like human beings ;)) and improper living conditions,force them to succumb to death.Recently, Geo Tv (TV) in Pakistan telecasted a documentary? a program?? a drama or what? about a zoo resident-a monkey in France who smoked cigarettes.He inculcated (such a) this habbit by puffing the butt’s thrown (at) on the floor by the visitors and the zoo wardens.In a final decision by the monkey’s doctor,if he does not quit smoking-he will die.(Not clear Mubs. What final decision? Do you mean to say: The doctor diagnosed that if the monkey does not quit smoking he would die?) So much for the safe and longer (long sounds better here cos you've written safe. If you write safer, then you can write longer) life guranteed (at) in the zoos.

Furthermore,few years back I visited the Al-Ain zoo in UAE.A limping kangaroo, dried up drinking wells, heaps of rubbish inside the animal cages were few of the horrified scenes I witnessed.I also saw a big cat who was nothing more than a bag of bones.I was appalled to find out that the creature was the lion-king of jungle!.Later on, i got to know that his food containing meat was taken away before it reached him and distributed amongst the zoo-wardens.

Often I get to hear a cliched (get to hear is present, so it should be cliche? not very sure about this though) statement: "zoos help to preserve nature.”If so, why do we hear about rhino’s and elephants dying , by being caught up in the barbed wires which is used to confine them?.Such man-made jails and entertainment centres are used by selfish and self centered people to cash in on the masses emotions.But are the smiles of such spectators more important than the tears of these confined creatures?.Man- should not play the Creator.Let the animals deserve what was bequeathed to them by God-liberty to live as they will.

300 words
40min + (2,3min)...too much disturbance at home

Notes for you dear Mubs:
1. You don't use space after full stops, commas, and -
2. You use too many - even when not necessary, use only IF required cos it kind of becomes an abrupt sentence this way.
3. You have put forward the essay in an excellent way!! GREAT JOB DONE AT WRITING!! :)
4. Just need to be careful with punctuation marks and their spacing and use.

All the very best my dear. Yasmeen.